Friday, June 02, 2006

The biggest wasted hour of my life!

The other night Erin and I were watching TV, she was getting ready to go out with a friend, I was getting ready to go ride my motorcycle, when someone knocked on our front door. I went to see who it was and found a younger fast talking gentleman who handed me a can of carpet cleaner. He asked if we had any carpet stains, I told him yes, and then he asked if he could have U of M student come inside and demonstrate something and he would get the stain out for us for free. "It will only take a few minutes of your time" he said. Okay, I have a few minutes, so I let his salesperson come into our house.

He comes in with two huge boxes and a backpack. He starts setting up this vacuum cleaner and all it's accessories like our living room is his showroom floor. Then he asks if he can use our vacuum to clean up an area of the carpet. Sure, so he vacuums an area with our vacuum and then vacuums the same area with his fancy vacuum. His vacuum didn't have a bag, instead it had a filter so every 3-4 strokes of the vacuum he could pull out a filter and show us what a great job his vacuum was doing. Then he'd put this filter on our floor as a "visual aid".

I thought he would do this a few times.....nope. After about 100 filters are laying on our living room floor, he gets ready to move on to his next demonstration. He asks, "How often do you vacuum?" Erin replies, "About once a week". He says, "So, once a week is 52 times a year, say you go over each spot twice, that's 104 times you go over your carpet." Okay, what's your point, I was thinking to myself. Then he did something that was the straw that broke the camels back. He took our vacuum and went over one area of our carpet 104 times! "One, two, three, four.......Eighty-one, eighty two, eighty-three.....a hundred one, a hundred two, a hundred three, a hundred four."

I just about went ballistic! After he went over this one spot with our obviously inadequate vacuum, he went over it with his fancy vacuum that apparently is God's gift to cleaning. Guess what, his vacuum still picked up dirt which obviously meant that our vacuum is worthless and we better bring it to the nearest dumpster as soon as possible.

I asked him how much the vacuum cleaner cost. He said, "Oh, it runs $1975." WHAT!! There's no way I'm going to pay TWO GRAND for a vacuum cleaner! He says to me, "We have very good financing options." HA HA!! I'll finance my house, a car, a student loan, whatever, but I'm not going to finance a vacuum cleaner!

About now, I was getting very ticked off. This guy said he'd be in our house for a few minutes, now it's ONE HOUR later and he hasn't even talked about the stain that he said he'd get off for free. I told him that I needed to leave in about 15 minutes (to go enjoy the Minnesota freeway system on my motorcycle) so he'd better hurry along.

So, he puts together the shampoo system of the vacuum and mixes this soap and water combination and starts getting suds and water all over our living room floor. By now I didn't care about the stain anymore, I just wanted this guy out of our house. He starts talking about how great the shampoo system is, but by then I wasn't listening anymore. I was starting to get tunnel vision, kind of like you do right before you kill somebody!

I think he could tell I was getting agitated as he sucked up the suds pretty quick. He asked if I'd ever be interested in purchasing this vacuum. NO! WHAT ARE YOU STUPID???!!! Not for $2000!!! He quickly cleans up the 3,000 filters that are all over our floor and packs up his little mobile showroom. As he's picking up the filters (which have dirt and hair on them), the dirt and hair is falling off back onto our floor AND there are still soap suds on parts of our carpet! I quickly escort him out the front door.

I said to him, "Good luck and have a good night." He says without looking at me, "Yeah." Not, "Thanks for the last hour and a half of your time" or "Sorry this didn't work out", not a word of appreciation for my time!

So now, I just spent the last hour and a half watching my blood pressure rise as this kid was trying to sell me a $2000 vacuum and now I have to clean up after him because there's dirt and soap all over my floor! After I got it all cleaned up I went out on my motorcycle for a few hours and during the last 8 miles I got caught in a torrential down pour with strong winds! Not a great night for Smiling Paul.

What I didn't realize until after he had left is that my vacuum cleaner was picking up dirt and his vacuum cleaner was picking up dirt which didn't prove anything other than that both of our vacuum's worked. His never picked up so much dirt that eventually it ran out of stuff to pick up. There was always more dirt which didn't prove anything. I wish I could have asked him about that when he was at our house.

By the way, I just sold the motorcycle which was a sad day but there will be more bikes in my future!

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