Thursday, October 22, 2009

It'll Stop a Bullet? It's a Booster Seat? No, It's a......

I got home from the gym the other day and noticed a package on the front doorstep. After I parked the car, I hurriedly walked outside to the front door, anxious to see what had arrived. As I walked out of the garage, I glanced across the street and noticed a few neighbor's had the same packages. It was then I realized this package wasn't exclusive to my house, the whole neighborhood had received them. My heart sank, it wasn't even a coupon book, it was........phonebook day.

About once every six months another phonebook arrives on the front doorstep. I'm not sure who uses these things anymore but do we really need a new one every six months? I remember a nice summer day last year when I was able to intercept the group of people delivering them. I told the guy that I didn't need a phonebook and he could save one from being thrown out. I'm not sure that he was bilingual and it was obvious that English wasn't his first language, but when I shook my head, he understood what I meant.

You probably can't call me a "tree-hugger", but I certainly do feel bad taking this 1,956 page book and throwing it right into the recycling bin. I don't even open up the bag it came in. I guess I'd be really disappointed if I found out that I just tossed a big bundle of money that someone put in a QwestDex bag, disguising it as a phonebook.

Seriously though, when is the last time you used a phonebook? If I need a phone number, I usually use my handy dandy iPhone to look it up. If you don't have an iPhone, most people have computers with Internet access and more search engines than you know what to do with. If you don't have a computer - get one. They're really very nice and you will sound smart by saying words like; browser, RAM, hard-drive, and modem.

Phonebooks do come in handy for some things I guess. Booster seats are probably the most obvious use, who hasn't strapped their kid into the backseat sitting on a phonebook? They also make great kindling for fires, if you're ever lost in the forest and have the white pages, you could start a fire with it - provided you had matches. I've even heard they can stop a bullet, if you happen to have a phonebook handy while being shot at, be sure to hold it up - it may just save your life.

I have a feeling I'll never use a phonebook for any of those events, however. Maybe there is someone I can call and ask them to stop delivering phonebooks. That shouldn't be too hard, their phone number is probably in the..........oh crap.

1 comment:

Steph Eiden said...

The funny thing is, I believe it's illegal to recycle phone books. Maybe not, but I think that is the case. Not sure what you're supposed to do with them??