Tuesday, April 27, 2010

How Not to Tell Others About Your Birthday.

Every one of us has a day each year that we love to celebrate more than anyone else. This day is really only important to us, other people usually celebrate it with you, but only because they feel obligated. What day am I talking about? Your birthday.

There are a few birthdays that are pretty exciting. The day you turn 16, you get to drive on your own. The day you turn 17, you can fly an airplane by yourself. Then of course comes the privilege to vote and join the military once you turn 18. The last big milestone is 21, when you can finally start drinking legally. However, in my personal opinion, if you joined the military when you were 18, you should be able to drink then. Those guys spend more time away from their family and see more blood and guts in a day than most of us will ever see in a lifetime. I’m not saying that they should drink their sorrows away, but a cold beer after you’ve been out in the hot desert chasing bad guys all day, isn’t that out of line.

After you turn 21, things kind of go downhill. At 25, your insurance rates go down, that's nice but not really worth celebrating. At 30, you start feeling old, eventually you start having kids and their birthdays become more important than yours. From here on out, people tend to celebrate every 10 years...until you reach 90, then every year is a celebration that your heart is still ticking.

Generally, nobody keeps track of your birthday except for you (and Facebook), so I find it interesting how people bring up their big day, when they do want to go celebrate. Some people go with the direct approach, “Hey, just wanted to let you know it’s my birthday on Tuesday.” To which I would respond, “Hey, just wanted to let you know, I’m not getting you anything.” The cool people of the world bring it up like this, “Hey, I’m buying a round of drinks for the whole office tonight to celebrate me getting older.” Some try to slip it into normal conversation, “My wife and I went to dinner last night to celebrate my birthday.” Regardless of how you bring it up to people, it’s tacky. The whole world doesn’t need to know about your birthday, the people close to you will know, but don’t be one of those people who thinks the whole world should be celebrating with you.

Oh, there’s one other way to tell people about your birthday, it’s probably the tackiest, most self centered, shameless, egotistical method out there - and that’s writing a blog and publishing it on the world wide web. Seriously...don't do that.

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